Snips and Snails

I've always loved the following nursery rhymes about girls and boys:

What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice and everything nice. That's what little girls are made of.

What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails and puppy dog tails. That's what little boys are made of.

But nowhere in my life has it been more evident than Saturday, when the fiance and I went registering for bed linens. It was then that his snips, snails, and puppy dog tails surfaced... and mischievously tried to foil my plans to have the most lovely bedroom in the world!

It was so easy registering for kitchen gadgets and bath towels. We went through the store like crazy people shouting over the aisles, "Hey Honey, this coffee maker has a timer!" The response was always, "Why don't you give 'er a scan?"

This wasn't the case when we shopped for bed linens.

I like bold patterns and colors. And while I wasn't really crazy about any of the bedding at the store I could deal with these (images from BedBathandBeyond.com):












Floral, I know.. but not TOO girly, right?






Nathan was drawn to these:













Dull, boring... BLAH!







But after a bit of whining and complaining, we came to an agreement. This one is a bold color that we both like and it's made of organic cotton, which is good for the environment as healthier for us (since we won't have to breathe in all of those pesticides)!



We decided to go the organic, sustainable fiber route for our sheets, too (in coordinating colors, of course). (Now if I could just get him to yoga class...)

You're Not the Boss of Me!

Ask either of my older sisters what my motto was growing and they'll probably say one of two things: "Don't tell me what to do," or my personal favorite, "You're not the boss of me." I know, I sound like a brat. But you have to understand that I was the youngest of four girls ... and one of my sister's favorite past times happened to be putting me (and my small friend) into the clothes hamper and sitting on the lid. It was traumatic.

Sister: Get out of my room, or I'll put you in the hamper!
Me: You're not the boss of me!

It's a little ironic, then, that I've spent the last few days searching for someone who I actually want to be the boss of me—if only for a day. It's even more ironic that I'm willing to pay someone to be the boss of me. But I think it's necessary. On my wedding day, I'm sure I'll show up (in true bratty little sister form) a complete, emotional wreck.

There's no way I'll be able to see that everyone gets down the aisle in an orderly fashion, the cake gets cut at the appropriate time, and the bouquet gets properly tossed. No way! So, I'm looking for a wedding coordinator/director/consultant to boss me (well, let's me honest, I mostly want her to boss my wedding party) around during the rehearsal, ceremony, and reception.



I've spoken to three very competent-sounding ladies so far. The prices for this service range from $350-$750. (If you're a city bride whose mouth is still hanging open in shock, please remember that my wedding will be in rural, small-town Tennessee.)

For $350, I found someone who will be there for the rehearsal and on the day of. She'd mostly be taking care of scheduling, but if I need additional planning work, setting up, or communication I can pay her an additional $20 an hour.

Another woman I spoke with offered the same service for $500, plus she'd call my vendors a week ahead of time to make sure everything is in order.

The most expensive consultant I found was more like a wedding planner. For $750, she said she'd visit my venue at least three times to make sure the details were perfect. She also writes and mails a detailed itinerary of the ceremony to the wedding party and officiant. Here's the kicker, though. If I wanted her to stick around for the reception (to make sure the first dance is danced and the bouquet tossed), she charges an additional $300.

I think I'll go the cheapest route on this one. After all, I've already chosen and signed contracts for my vendors. I hired my vendors because they're professionals who won't need bossing, and I think I can handle writing out a detailed itinerary myself (I am a Virgo, after all.)

Beauty Obsessed

A couple of days ago I was talking to a newly-engaged friend about wedding plans(Yay! Someone new to bounce idea off of!). She started telling me about her plan to "get fit" for her October wedding. I smiled knowingly. In my best know-it-all voice I said, "You know, you're not fooling anyone. Your family and friends know what you look like."

I was only half joking.

There's nothing wrong with trying to look your best for your wedding as long as the goal is improvement (rather than outright change). There's no better time to adopt healthy lifestyle habits that will stick with you for the rest of your life.

I happen to be obsessed with my skincare routine at the moment. I've spent weeks buying and trying new products. Believe it or not, I've had the best results with the Neutrogena Wave. The Wave is marketed as a power cleanser that cleans up to 10 times deeper because of it's gentle vibrating action. I know it sounds a little ridiculous, but it works! I noticed a difference in a couple of weeks, and after three months of use people started asking me what I was doing. It's only about $15, and I saw more results from using it daily than from my $100 + facial.

Cons: The daily disposable pads aren't exactly eco-friendly, and one of the top ingredients is Sodium Laryeth Sulfate, which is an additive that's not exactly natural, and I think I heard somewhere that they put it in rat poison.

That said, I'll probably wean myself from this product right after the wedding. But for now, it's my best beauty secret.

A New Look at List-Mania

Planning a wedding is all about making lists. I have about 20 running lists that I update periodically in my handy, dandy wedding notebooks. I have a list of things I still need to buy, people I need to call, and stuff I need to research. The lists never end.

A couple of days ago, however, I came across an article all about lists in the April 2008 issue of Body + Soul, "What's on Your Life List?" by Victoria Moran. This was a different perspective on the conventional To-Do list that I've become so well-acquainted with the last couple of months. It featured several people who had made lists of all the things they wanted to do with their lives. They were creative lists that included with all their childhood dreams, personal milestones, career goals, everything you can image. "Are life lists gimmicky?" writes Moran. "Sure. But they're a gimmick with a strange tendency to produce results." The very act of setting the intention for the things that they wanted to accomplish seemed to drive them to achieve, and live happier and more fulfilling lives.

I don't know how much of that I believe, but I am a firm believer in setting intentions—just yesterday I instruction my yoga class to set an intention for the day. So I thought I'd give it a whirl. I'll start with setting intentions for the thing that consumes my thoughts most lately, my wedding. (The article suggested coming up with 100 goals, but since I'm thinking about just one day of my life, I think this list can be shorter.)

1. My fiance will happily show up. He will remember the rings. He'll make sure to look completely love-drunk the second he lays eyes on me in my bridal attire. (There will be no fighting for an entire month before our big day.)

2. Both of our families will be in attendance—both immediate and extended.

3. It will be a lovely day—not too hot, not too cold, and not a cloud in the sky (definitely no rain). There will be a gentle breeze, just enough to blow my dress around a little.

4. When I get to my venue everything will be set up exactly as I had envisioned it. Tables set, chairs in order, favors in place. It will be the most beautiful backdrop I've ever seen.

5. We'll have plenty of time to enjoy all of our guests.

6. People will only say wonderfully, flattering things about us in the reception toasts.

7. We will get many compliments on our good taste. Many people will comment on all the personal touches we worked so hard to create.

8. The food will be AMAZING!

9. Our families will love each other.

10. My skin will be flawless.

11. My toddler nieces and nephew will walk down the aisle (and will not cry).

12. We will have plenty of money left over to start our life together.

13. We will live happily ever after!

Another Budget Buster

I am in love with my cater! I've been dealing with the owner of the business, and she's the most professional, helpful, and just plain vendor ever. I've never even met the woman (I'm planning a Tennessee wedding from California), but she's always been quick to respond with useful information, price quotes, and great ideas. Maybe my affection for her has to do with the fact that to save money I chose other venders who aren't in the business of weddings. My photographer, for example, is a dental hygeinist by day, mother by night... so she doesn't exactly respond to my emails right away.




Anyway, when I emailed my caterer a couple of weeks ago to ask her if she had any florist recommendations for me I was elated (seriously, I was excited for a whole week) to find out that she does flowers, too! I told her about my budget, my color scheme, and how many/what kinds of flowers I would need... and she had a price quote ready within a few hours (for well under what I had budgeted)! I fell in love all over again. I mean, this is someone who I know I can trust taking care of two major parts of my wedding. So convenient! Phew!

But today I was going over my budget again to determine how much I would have to shell out when it comes time for my wedding when I stumbled upon an expense I hadn't really factored into my budget. This person who I've entrusted so much of my wedding to will be adding a 20 percent gratuity fee to our bill. When that bill includes food, champagne, china and flatware rentals, linens, AND flowers that's a BIG gratuity. I love this woman who has made my life so much easlier, and I definitely want to show my appreciation for a job well done. However, I need to call her to find out if the gratuity is just added to the food... or to the whole she-bang! Honestly, though, I'm scared to ask. I definitely don't want to seem like a cheapskate and damage the one vendor relationship that really seems to be working for me. I'm going to go re-read all of my contracts!

Has anyone else had similar experiences?

Made for Maids

Today I tackled quite possibly the easiest craft project ever! It was so easy, in fact, that I wouldn't even really call it a project. It took all of thirty minutes to make the first of what I think might be several gifts for my bridesmaids: tiny hair pins adorned with rhinestones jewels (re-purposed from the buttons on an old sweater).

This is how I did it:

1. Snip old buttons off sweater.
2. Slip the button onto a silver bobby pin.
3. Use a straight pin to fill the button hole with clear industrial adhesive and glue the back of the button to the top of the pin.
4. Wait for adhesive to dry.

I'm still waiting for the adhesive to dry, but I think it will work perfectly! I'm going to give each bridesmaid two, which they can wear in their hair anyway they like on the day of the wedding (and hopefully later, too). I'm still debating on how I will present them, but for now, I'm poking holes in card stock scraps left over from my invitations.

I'm also debating knitting wraps for all five of my bridesmaids (also to wear to the wedding and after.) But I'm afraid it might be too warm in Tennessee in September. And, knowing me, I'd probably buy enough yarn for five and end up only halfway finishing one by the time of the wedding. It's the thought that counts, though, right?

Self Tanner + Open Back Dress = Potential Disaster

I'm not sure which To-Do list this was on, whether it was in a magazine or online, but I know I've seen it enough to think to myself, "Oh, well, I guess I should experiment with self tanners!"

Before I go on, let me give you some background information. I am a pale girl. I wear sunscreen everyday to avoid cancer and wrinkles. When I was in high school I wanted to be tan so much (Britney Spears was SUCH a good role model!) that I went to the tanning bed every day leading up to the prom. I actually can get a tan—but you'd never know it from looking at me now.

Luckily, I've grown since then and I have a new philosophy on tanning. The only thing worse than a fake tan that give you premature cancer and/or wrinkles, is a fake tan that makes you look like orange and streaky. (Like Posh Spice in the picture!)

Nevertheless, I would prefer for there to be some difference between my skin color and my dress on my wedding day. So I'm doing what the lists say—I'm experimenting. This is only day 3 of my trial, and I'm already seeing some color. I don't think it looks too fake, but I can't be sure. And the biggest fear, of course, is that I won't be able to reach that one spot in the middle of my back that everyone will be staring at during the ceremony.

Is anyone else braving a self tanner and a backless dress? Am I crazy for even trying?

Cultural Orphan

Last year, I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding. The ceremony was a traditional garden wedding with a gazebo and beautiful flowers. Her colors: chocolate brown and rose pink. She looked stunning in her white dress, with flowers in her hair. The string quartet played traditional wedding tunes. I was blown away.

But when we got to the reception site all of us girls were called into the dressing room to help her change out of her white dress, and into the traditional red Chinese wedding attire, which she had already worn once that morning in a traditional Chinese ceremony with their immediate families. The four of us bridesmaids huddled around her as we rushed to help her put on at least twenty pieces of gold jewelry, which was representative of good luck, wealth, and prosperity. The white flowers in her hair were replaced with red rosebuds. She looked even more beautiful than before. An hour or so into the many-course Chinese dinner, we were called back to the dressing room to help her change into another red dress. This one also reflected her Chinese heritage, but was a more modern and quite a bit sexier. This one was clearly her favorite.

A few weeks later, the fiance and I went to a the wedding of a Mexican-American co-worker. They had a mariachi band—SO fun!

I really love the idea of celebrating your heritage through your wedding. Unfortunately, my fiance and I both come from a mixed European descent (German and Polish, we think), and the wedding traditions I've stumbled upon are less appealing than all the Chinese customs. I suppose the white gown and veil, vows, and ring are the custom. But I know there have to be more creative ways to pay homage to our roots (even though we're not really sure what those roots are). Do you have any ideas? Anyone adding German or Polish traditions to their ceremonies or receptions?

Celebrity Weddings

It's been big a year or two for Ashlee Simpson, the rebellious younger sibling of Jessica. First she got a new nose. Then a new rock-star fiance. Maybe a new baby. I was not shocked by any of this news—everyday Hollywood stuff.

What was most shocking for me was that the youngest Simpson intends to get married in May. (That's like NEXT month!)

I feel a lot as I did a while back when I found out that Jenna Bush—you know, the daughter of George W. and Laura—would be married on May 10. (This was a while back, but it was still less than six months away from when the engagement was announced.)

I realize that these girls don't have the same limitations as someone like me when it comes to planning a wedding. I'm sure they don't have to worry about booked venues or a caterer with a full calendar. And, yes, I know they have assistants and planners to help them create the day they've always dreamed of. (Even with the assistants isn't that a lot to do in a month, Ashlee?) But when I think about that I can't help but feel a little sad for them that they're missing out on all of the meticulous detail-planning that truly will make the day even that much more meaningful. Heck, it took three months of agonizing over the venue for my engagement to even sink in.

This is one of those times that I don't think I'd trade places with the rich and famous. (I would still gladly trade budgets, though. Jenna? Ashlee? Fergie? No?)

Planning from Afar

Here's my dilemma. I'm getting married in less than six months. I've never met our caterer, photographer, florist, baker, string trio, or band. I haven't tasted the food or heard the music (in person). I've never even spoken to our officiant. (I hope my mom has taken care of that!) I've visited our venue, but barely remember what it looks like. I've seen a picture of the tent and chairs I've put a downpayment on, but am really not even sure if they're what I want. I'm just hoping that the picnic tables available at our site are going to cut it for our outdoors reception...

It's a matter of logistics. I live precisely 2,573 miles away from my wedding site. I'm living in Oakland, California, but planning a magical wedding in the town where I grew up in Tennessee. I only have two weeks of vacation a year, and I intend to take one of those for my honeymoon (yay!). So basically, as they say in my hometown, "I'm up a creek without a paddle."


Don't get me wrong, there are MANY advantages to getting married in Tennessee instead of California. My family is there. My friends are there. The most gorgeous mountains in the world are there (I'm only a little biased). It will cost us probably a quarter of what a Bay Area wedding would cost. I'm not worried about vendors being booked or anything like that.

But every time I try to wrap my mind around how this is all going to work I go into panic mode! I'm still not even sure how I'm going to get my dress there, much less all of the decorating stuff I've gotten from former brides on Craigslist.org.

I'm making my one trip back home at the end of May, and I've already made a couple of appointments. I think now is the time to prioritize so I will leave with peace of mind that it's all going to work out.

1. Venue. Look at and picnic tables. Figure out where tent will go. Become best friends with venue management.
2. Meet Officiant. (Make sure we actually have one!)
3. Caterer. Decide on a menu. Pick out linens. Become best friends with owner of catering company.
4. Baker. Taste cakes. Decide on a design. Ask for sample to take home to share with fiance. :)
5. Photographer. Meet photographer. Make sure she's nice, responsible, and clean.
6. Rentals. Look at showroom and make any necessary changes to my order.
7. Attire. Find a professional to press my dress the week before the wedding! Double-check at the tux rental store to make sure the groom will be properly outfitted.
8. Bridesmaids Dresses. Help mom pick out the fabric so she can start making them (Eek!).
9. Bridal Shower. Attend it. Try to fit all the stuff into a suitcase, have it shipped, (or take back to the store and buy again in California?)
10. Hair and make up... Do a run-through with my hair stylist.

Is this too much for a week?

Recycled Beauties!

I never really wore this sweater that much, but it's looking really worn anyway. It's fibers are pilling. It's kind of itchy.

As I was pondering throwing this sweater in the Goodwill pile, my head tilted to the side, my brow furrowed, and I had an idea! This sweater's 10 shiny, rhinestone, antique-like buttons are so gorgeous they're almost bridal!


There's nothing I love more than a craft project—other than a craft project that allows me to give new life to something I already own. For my next project, I think I'll borrow my sweater's lovely gems to make something to wear either on my wedding day ... or my rehearsal dinner.

I'm torn between dangly earrings and a cool hair acccessory. What do you think?

All About Us?

I just bought the May/June issue of Brides magazine a few days ago. Of course, I love the magazine, but I have to admit I was a little bit put off my the Editor's Letter about all the creative, personal touches couples are bringing to their wedding. "The marriage vows are as poignant as ever," writes Brides Editor Millie Martini Bratten, "but the fact is that almost every aspect of the wedding is being reinvented by couples who are creating a day that is truly about them."

O.K. Maybe I'm being sensitive, but I didn't spend the last two weekends getting Carpal Tunnel from all the gluing, cutting, pasting, and stamping my personalized invitations for myself. I am ALL about the "power of personalization," but I really want to impress upon my wedding guests that I'm not going out of my way to show them all what a fantastic couple we are.

Our families and friends are important to us, and we want to show our appreciation to those who are closest to us by sharing things that we think are special. Nathan wanted to share his love of live music—so he picked out a bluegrass band. I want to share my love of beautiful things through handmade invites, favors, and other special touches.

We may be the reason for the occasion, but without the love and support of our loved ones it would never work. It's not my fiance and me, the clothes we wear, or the things we buy. It's something a lot greater than that.

Chocolate Heaven

I had lunch with a friend yesterday who was kind enough to bring me a box of the most beautiful chocolates I'd ever laid eyes on.

They're like little pieces of art. SO lovely I didn't even want to eat them ... That is, until my afternoon sugar crash came, when, well, I'll eat anything sweet with a mile radius of my desk. After I tasted the first bite the other three in my four-chocolate set was gone within seconds. I couldn't resist. YUM!



The expert chocolate artist is Christopher Elbow (http://www.elbowchocolates.com), and he has stores in both Kansas City, Missouri and San Francisco, California. I'm considering ordering a 4-piece box to leave in the rooms of out-of-town guests staying in a hotel. At $8 a box (that's $2 per chocolate, folks!), they're pricey... But who am I kidding? These jewel-like chocolates are almost better than diamonds!

Crazy for Etsy!

Ever since my graphic designer friend introduced me to Etsy.com, I've been obsessed with it! Etsy is a fabulous site where artists, designers, and plain ol' crafty people can showcase their hand-crafted goods. The pieces are so unique and creative it's hard not to put everything I see into my virtual shopping cart.

Etsy has a Weddings category where you can buy everything from custom, letter press invitations and save-the-dates to jewelery and veils. I even think I saw a gown or two! Since the site features lots of craft hobbyist, the prices are way better than retail—AND you can sometimes get things custom made, just for you. What more could you ask for?

One of my favorite things on Etsy is pictured to the right. It's a portrait that an artist draws from a photograph you send to her. How cute is that!?

You Can't Trick Me!

It's amazing how roaming the home aisles of a department store (scanner in hand) puts me in the mood to discard my feminist ideals, throw on a pair of high heels and fake pearls, and spend hours vacuuming and baking cupcakes (with pink icing and sprinkles)!

There's something fantastically old-fashioned about a "bridal" registry complete with baking pans, expensive mixer, and a shiny Dyson vacuum. (Although, my mom is quick to remind me that there was no such thing as a registry when she got married in the '70s.) I can't help it! Every time I think of our registry I envision white picket fences, fancy dinner parties, with the set from Leave it to Beaver in the background.

Maybe it's because I'm still a six year old at heart, but when my FH and I made our first trip to register I got giddy thinking about all the fun I'll have playing house, just as I did in the play kitchen in my kindergarten classroom. ("I'm the Mommy, and you're the Daddy.")



This all leaves me to wonder, are my fiance, the bridal industry, and society involved in an elaborate plot to make me learn to clean, bake, and someday become a housewife? Perhaps ... but I still want a rolling pin.

Fine Dining for Two ... on a Budget

Part of being a savvy bride is knowing when to spend your money, and when to scrape by spending as little as possible. Today, I went to the grocery store and bought up tons of sale items to make quick and easy vegetarian meals for a bargain! I got two-weeks worth of groceries today (and a bridal magazine) for $60!

This recipe is one I vegetarianized from one my mom used to make when I was growing up. I can buy the ingredients for my version for less than $5.

Hominy Chilli Casserole

Ingredients:

• 1 15-Ounce Can Yellow or White Hominy, Drained


• 1 15-Ounce Can Vegetarian Chilli


• 1 Cup Shredded Cheddar Cheese


• 1 Cup Chopped Onion


• Optional:1/2-Cup Crumbled Crackers

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a small casserole dish layer half the hominy, half the chilli, half the onion, and half the cheese. Then, add the other half. Top with the crumbled cracker crumbs, pop it in the oven for 15-20 minutes, serve with bread or crackers, and Voila! Cheap, low-fat dinner for two in 20 minutes!

Sometimes, I'm so smart I amaze myself.

Fear of Flying?

Part of planning a far-away wedding is making travel plans far in advance. (The last thing you want to do is bust your budget on plane tickets!) But with four airlines declaring bankrupt in the last week leaving thousands of travellers in the lurch and a big discussion about who might go under next, my fiance and I have cold feet about booking our honeymoon flights!

I've gathered these tips from news sources online, just in case the worst happens:

1. Pay with credit card, not a debit card. You'll have a better chance getting your money back if your airline goes under and stops flying.

2. Call a travel agent. Even if you didn't book through an agency, they might be able to place you on another flight should anything go wrong.

3. Book using a third party. This might be a good time to pay that extra processing fee through Expedia or Orbitz. They might be able to help you.

4. Look for warning signs. Check your airline for warning signs they might bankrupt next. According to an MSNBC article, warning signs include: the recent removal of a top executive, a dramatic change or reduction in routes, staff cuts, and emphatic public statements by its top brass that things couldn’t be any better.

To read more click here.

The Sweater Curse

Legend has it that one of the quickest ways to ruin a relationship is for one partner to begin constructing a hand-knit sweater for the other. It's called the "sweater curse," and it's not something that knitters take lightly.

About a year ago, I decided to risk it and start on my honey's first knit-with-love sweater. He requested a "Charlie Brown sweater," complete with zigzag stripe. I know my FH better than he does, so I decided make the sweater blue instead of mustard yellow—I'm not spending months (ahem, years) knitting something he'll never wear. It started as a Christmas Sweater, then a Birthday Sweater, then a Valentine's Day Sweater ... now I think it might make a nice Wedding Sweater. (If I can get all of my other wedding projects in order first.)

The sweater hasn't damaged our relationship (afterall, he did propose to me about six months after I started it), but I think on a subconscious level I'm putting it off until after it's official—ring on finger, game over, until death do we part ... then sweater. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it.) I think I'll go knit now.

Has anyone else had encountered the elusive sweater curse?

5 Reasons to be an Eco-Bride

As important is it is, your wedding is just one day of your life. It may be your happiest day, but it doesn't release you from your responsibility.

Here are a few reasons why it's such a good idea:

1. You don't want the happiest day of your life to contribute to making life harder for your children and grandchildren.

2. Sometimes being Eco-conscious is also a really good way to be Econ-conscious... Save your money by reusing, recycling, and producing less waste!

3. Aside from being the responsible thing to do, it's also becoming tres chic to be conscious of your impact on the environment. This is one trend everyone should get behind.

4. You don't have to sacrifice things that are important to you to make a difference. Just be creative and think of little things you can do to make a huge difference—like using cloth napkins instead of paper monogrammed ones, perhaps?

5. Who knows? Maybe some of your guests will be inspired by your efforts to make your day environmentally friendly and go away to make little changes in their own lives. Imagine if all your guests just changed to energy efficient lightbulbs what a big difference that would make in the world! (Hey, there's another great favor idea!)

Save the Date--and the Trees!

For my Tennessee wedding, we're inviting people from all across the country—California family and friends, Pennsylvania family, a sister in Denver, a friend in Texas ... you get the point. It was essential that we send some kind of Save the Date so our guests could make arrangements ahead of time.

I'm not the most technically-savvy girl in the world, but I had picked up a few HTML skills through my job. So I scanned our engagement pictures, took advantage of a URL I'd bought ages ago, and went to town building a virtual Save the Date. It is an online destination that our guests can go back to to see important updates along the way—like hotel reservations and the all-important gift registration!

The best, and most cost-effective, way I could come up with to embed my HTML into an email for my guest was a free trial through Constant Contact (constantcontact.com), an online marketing system that a lot of small businesses use. Through Constant Contact, I could see who had opened my email, who didn't, who had inactive email addresses, and who clicked on my links. (TheKnot.com offers a Save the Date email service, but I found it hard to customize and make look the way I wanted it to.)

The downside, a Constant Contact reprentative keeps calling me to help me with my first marketing campaign. The trial is for 60 days. I'm still trying to decide if it will be worth the $6 a month to keep it.

My First Facial

A couple of weeks ago I got an email reminder from Brides.com that I have 6 months until my wedding date. (Like I would forget ... ) Anyway, attached to the reminder was a list of all the things I should be doing this week to stay on top of things. The only thing I was a little surprised about was the instruction to "get a facial." I thought to myself, "I've never had one of those before," but I had a gift card for the Nordstrom Spa that I had gotten a while back as a bridesmaid's gift so I decided to go for it.

I never knew a beauty treatment could make me fee so ugly. But as the facialist hovered over my face and neck, pointing out all of my blackheads, whiteheads, and clogged pores I felt like an insecure highschooler again.

I felt mildly better when she suggested I buy a litany of products to cure my many, many skin flaws. (I was on to her game.)

My face and neck were red, splotchy, and aggitated for a few days afterward. But now that it's been about a week, I have to admit I'm noticing a marked improvement. I may not go back to that exact spa again, but I'm definitely a believer in facials. (And now I know why you're not supposed to get one right before the big day!)

Have you had good or bad facial experiences?

Quest for a Vegetarian Wedding Cake

My first conversation with my cake baker, didn't go so well. I told her all I wanted want a simple, white cake with a few flowers thrown on top.. simple enough. But then she started talking about all the options—two tiers or three, square cake or round, fondant or no fondant.

"Wait a minute," I said. "What's fondant?"

"That's the icing that goes on the outside," she says. "It gives the cake a neat, polished look. I make my own out of marshmallow creme."

Uh oh. I carefully explained that I'm a vegetarian, so I don't eat anything that contains gelatin—like marshmallow. Gelatin usually comes from the bones of pigs and cows. The thought of it makes my stomach turn.

My baker was not aware of this. I could hear the panic in her voice when she said, "You mean I can't use eggs either!?"

After a long conversation on the differences between "vegetarian" and "vegan," we settled on a fondant-free cake design. Now if only it were that easy to find a veg-friendly restaurant for the rehearsal dinner near my Tennessee wedding venue were that easy!

YogiBride's Balance Guide

I'm a yoga teacher, which means that I believe there's a yoga pose for pretty much any physical ailment, emotion, or circumstance. This, of course, does not exclude wedding planning.

Situation: You're engaged! Yay! Look at your new, shiny ring! Look at your fiance! He's so dreamy! Isn't he dreamy?
Yoga Pose: Downward-Facing Dog
Why? Down Dog is a great equalizer. It stretches your spine, tones the arms, calms your mind, and can help bring you into balance—and back into reality.

Situation: You just got engaged a week ago. You register at TheKnot.com to see that you're already behind schedule and there are 10 list items that you should've done weeks ago! How are you ever going to make this happen!?
Yoga Pose: Child's Pose
Why? Pressing your forehead into the earth is a soothing anxiety anticdote.

Situation: I'm tired of making 14,500 phone calls a day. Why won't anyone else help me!?
Yoga Pose: Wheel Pose
Why? Backbends are energizing. Stretching the heart open (chest and shoulders) makes you feel like you can do anything—even make another call to the caterer.

DIY Invitations: A Word of Advice

I'm a do-it-yourself kind of girl. My philosophy is that the more time you spend handling soemthing and infusing it with your energy, the more prana (or life force) that item has. That's why a hand-knitted sweater from Grandma, for example, feels so much sweeter than something you buy at the Gap. It was made with lovingkindness, compassion, and good intentions. That's why I'm making as much as I can for my wedding guests—starting with my wedding invitations.

I know I should've opted for recycled papers, but the minute I walked into that Berkeley Paper-Source (with all of those beautiful colors and patterns), I was a goner. It's an added bonus that I was able to do them myself for less than $100. The best bang for my buck? A perfect floral stamp and silver ink pad that I can use on every envelope, to jazz up my RSVP cards, and maybe again later when I'm ready to make placecards! (All for about $20!) I'm even considering having the floral motif replicated in icing on my cake to give my event a cohesive feel.

Unfortunately, it has taken me close to two entire weekends—stopping only to eat, sleep, and occasionally take a Handstand Breaks—to finish just 50 of them. That's not too shabbyy considering I have exactly 63 to do, but I'll be honest, I'd rather gouge my eyes out than do those last 13 right now.

Making your own invitations is well worth the trouble. You get exactly what you want—and for a fraction of the cost. But keep in mind that while the printing, cutting, gluing, and stamping might have been fun the first time you did it, it gets old after about 30. And don't expect them to be perfect—it's the little imperfections that make each one unique (and extra-special) to your guest!

Yoga Wedding Favors

When I first got engaged, I knew I wanted to have a yoga wedding. I would get married in a yoga studio, force my family members to sit on zafus (meditation pillows) or yoga blankets on the floor, and lead them in a group meditation and kirtan (Indian devotional chanting chanting). This idea did not go over so well with my FH—and six months later I see that it would've been inconsiderate of me to force my lifestyle onto our conservative families. But I still want to sneak my yoga beliefs into my wedding anywhere I can.

One of the most important aspects of yoga is relaxation, and I'd love to share that with my wedding guests. So instead of the usual Jordan Almond favor, I'm going to make lavender eye pillows for my guests. Lavender is a soothing scent that lulls you into a state of calm, while a little bit of weight over the eyes and forehead touches a pressure point that helps one relax even deeper (yoga students know it as the elusive Third Eye). What more could exhausted wedding guests ask for after they've partied all day long?


What Do You Need?

• Organic Flax Seeds (2 cups per pillow should be about right)


• A 9-by-9 inch square of a luxurious fabric in your darkest wedding color (Organic is best, but if you're on a budget fabric remnants are a great choice!)


• One Heaping Tablespoon of Dried Organic Lavender Per Pillow (I got lavender sachets from a bride that overestimated her favor needs and had a ton left over.)


• 1 Funnel


• A Spool of Ribbon in Your Wedding Accent Color


• A Needle, Thread, Sewing Machine (with zigzag stitch), Scissors, Measuring Tape

Step By Step Instructions

1. With the right sides together, fold the fabric in half.


2. Sew a straight edge around the three cut edges, leaving a 5/8-inch. IMPORTANT: Leave about an inch at the corner unsewn!






3. Zigzag around the edges, to keep your fabric from unraveling. Again, leaving about an inch at the corner unsewn.



4. Turn the fabric inside out. Use your finger to make the corners as crisp as possible.



5. Insert the funnel into the unsewn portion at the corner.



6. Fill your pillow with flax seeds and dried lavender about halfway.






7. With the needle and thread, sew together the one-inch corner opening by hand. Make your stitches as close together as possible.


8. Fold your creation in half, and wrap the ribbon around it. Tie it in a cutesy little bow.

I made five today. I'm thinking I'll reserve hand-made favors for special guests like bridesmaids, moms, grandmothers, and other female relatives.

Find the Perfect Eco-Gown

When I started my gown search, I knew I wanted my gown to be stunning, suit my short and small frame, and do the least amount of harm to the environment (and my bank account) as possible. (And, of course, make me look as much like Katherine Heigl or Catherine Zeta Jones as possible. Weddings are about dreams right?) My criteria left me with three options:

1. Order a gown made with a sustainable fabric—like organic cotton or bamboo.
Pros: Sites like Olivialuca.com and GetConscious.com make it easy.
Cons: It's not a lot less expensive than buying a dress in a bridal salon, and you can't try them on first!

2. Find a vintage gown. This would require finding an extremely skilled seamstress to bring it up-to-date. I loved this store that specializes in vintage wedding attire in Berkeley, Recapture Designs.
Pros: Affordable and has a cool "trendy" factor. I loved this store.
Cons: When you try on these dresses, many of them still have big poofy sleeves and yellowed lace, so it's hard to imagine wearing them on your special day.

3. Buy something from a former blushing bride.
Pros: You can see the dress, try it on, and get it's whole story before you decide if you want to buy (options are endless in bigger markets like the SF Bay Area). Buying second-hand you can get the fancy, designer dresses for less than half the price (and without the sales tax). And you meet people who just went through the whole wedding planning chaos—they can share tips with you.
Cons: The dress might not be perfect. It might be a little dirty. And there's always the possiblity that your "newly-wedded" bride could be a "newly-divorced" bride instead—which might be a deal-breaker if you're superstitious.

I opted for Choice #3, and as a bonus my perfect silk satin Jim Hjelm gown had been altered to fit someone who was exactly my size. That means, I saved the $200-300 on alteration fees, too. That's more money I can blow on my honeymoon! As you can see by the photo it could use a good ironing, but other than that it's perfect!